Enable – to give someone the authority or means to do something.

I hate the use of the word “enable” in addiction circles. To me it implies that I am somehow responsible for my husband’s addiction, choices, or actions. It sounds as if I wanted him to do all those things and gave him permission to. I know that’s not exactly how it’s meant, but that is how it sounds to me. 

And nothing could be further from the truth. While I may not have left the situation because I didn’t know any better or I was comfortable with being treated like that (in many ways like the frog that doesn’t jump out of the pot set to boil because it doesn’t realize what’s happening), it doesn’t mean that I wanted any of that, had control over any of that, or gave him permission to do any of that.

Anyways, just my two cents on that. The word “enable” is a trigger for me.

But also, today I am feeling really down and desperate. Our house was broken into recently and our finances are a shambles. We are deeply in debt and I don’t know how to get out of it. We’re drowning in credit card debt and we have no spare cash to speak of. I am envious of all my friends who appear to be financially ok. Heck, anyone with spare cash is a subject of my envy right now. I know that with the twelve steps financial worry will go away one day, but it doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon. And the burden of it is holding me down. Calgon, take me away! Please!

2 thoughts on “Enable

  1. Financial problems are exceptionally difficult to live with, I know! Overwhelming! Add adultery to this and is there any wonder you feel like you do? You won’t always be here though , and you will get through it and look back on this terrible time as part of your past. You just have to live through it. Hugs to you x

  2. Have you found some sort of peace with your situation? I see you haven’t posted anything new in a while. Just curious.

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